Friday, April 2
It's what's important to me - finding a quantity for myself and whatever problem
I might get with it. I might find something else, answer some questions, or find some form or thought.
Eva Hesse, 1969. Encountering Eva Hesse, Prestel
Hmm, somehow I understand her, but I think I do it differently.
And finally I feel like nobody understands me.
Tomorrow is another day.

Monday, May 10
I'm blocked by my own words. They tell me something I don't want.
The wrong character, somebody that is not me.
I cannot find the right tune.

Tuesday, May 11
Today Bob Marley Day.

Monday, May 17
I can't make a mistake
to listen to dancehall shake.
I gotta get some floor.
McLyte

Monday, May 24
Finished a new work, quite a big one.
My work gives me confidence. That one is true.
Even I fail to respect myself.

BAFANA BAFANA

Sunday, August 8
It ain't make no difference. Suicide isn't an option. I hope u agree with me.

Friday, August 20
From Jean Luc Godard's movie Pierrot le Fou:

Lonesome people always talk too much.
Let's keep silent together. I want you and I will do everything you want.
I kiss you everywhere. You probably know me and I know you as well.
Being togehter and feeling comfortable.
Even we didn't plan it, but our sentiments are tight together forever.
Let's keep the feeling that our love is a love.
People like you are always desperate.
I feel that I live. That's the point. Forever in hell.
If you throw over a woman they say you have been certifiable.
I promise I'll never fall in love again. I consider it as vulgar.
Love has to be disvovered anew.
I give her a squeeze and feel lonely.

I decided to write a diary. We live on hunting and fishing.
Will you never leave me? No, indeed.
What can I do? I don't know what to do.
I want to see how you are and I want to know how you see me.
You are simply aware about your emotions. We will never understand.
First literature, then music.
I have to leave from here. I want to live.

My name is Ferdinand.

Life, the eternal mystery, will never be solved.
We are dead on parole.
Despair. Hope. In Search of Lost Time.
For me there is only one thing: I want to live.
It's like I am dreaming, but I am awake.
The era of duplicate people. You can talk to yourself without a mirror.
In the dark words have the extraordinary power of illumination.
Spoken language blurs purity. Words illuminate the things they signify though they are spoken they stay vague.
It's difficult to find out the exact moment when one has abandoned her or his fictive personality to revert to the genuine one.
It wasn't me! I haven't killed him. With you everything is so complicated.
Why have you just kissed me? Oh, my beauty. I reckon up to 137. You are crazy.
After all you should trust me. That's what you expect from me as well.

Friday, August 27
I miss tenderness. I could raise a quarrel every second.

Saturday, August 28
I'm still contentious. Ask myself what can change that state of being.

I found the following statements in the book The monk who sold his ferrari, Robin S. Sharma. I write them down here in the hope that I will remember them better and that they will help me to change my actual state of being.

I cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought - not even one.
My "I can" is more important than my "I.Q."
Stop judging events as either positive or negative. Rather simply experience them and learn from them.
Stop being a prisoner of your past, become an architect of your future.
Begin to live out of the glory of your imagination, not your memory.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Every day spend at least a few minutes of creative envisioning. See yourself as you want to be.
If there is a lack in your life it is because there is a lack in your thoughts.
Even one negative image is poisonous to your mindset.
Run at your own pace, it doesn't matter what other people say about you.
What is important is what you say to yourself. Every second you spend thinking about someone else's dreams you take time from your own.
There is never a risk discovering yourself and the mission of your life.
Peaceful and meaningful thoughts make your life peaceful and meaningful.
Luck = preparation and opportinity
Secret of happiness: find out what you truly love to do and then direct all your energy towards doing it.
Find your passion in life.
"All my worrying leaves me totally deflated by the end of the day"
Exactly too much stress does this to you.
Find your purpose and life becomes much easier. When you figure out your aim you will never work another day. Your work will be a play.
Think how to improve your next day!

Monday, September 30
Negative thinking is a waste of time...