Sunday, December 30h
This morning I've been watching the moon - full moon I guess - hiding behind clouds and then emerging again. It appeared like a shining lamp. I remember my grandma talking a lot about the moon, whereas my mother never mentioned it.

Saturday, December 29
I still have to write it - just to make this day today. Sometimes I feel exploited. But I know it's me who has to change the situation I continue to live in. They are ok with it, why should they work on it to the better for me? Everybody looks for himself to get the best out of life. That's it. When you don't love yourself you have lost.

Friday, December 28
Some things should not be said.
And I don't want you to be sad.

Wednesday, December 26
Boxing Day - My husband blamed me for being rich. Because I am not born like him, or what. Actually, I am not responsible for the fact that he was born under different circumstances than me, what he calls himself poor ...means no electricity... education??? No, I know he is very proud of his heritage and I appreciate that, because I've been loving Africa myself.
But, please tell me, what does his life now, in this very moment, make so different from mine? Is he living here in Switzerland like me? Yes. So, why I am considered to be richer than him. No, I am not richer-

Monday, December 24
Hello diary, may I talk to you? I feel horrible. A lot of drinking again. Going out to find a new life, no, no, that's not the way. I know it now. A quick gaze to my mirror picture and I realise I feel worse than I look. At least- Anyhow, better stay at home, Mimi. Please be nice to yourself... After all there was some hugging. Nevertheless, I really want to stop drinking, even when I have to do without tenderness.

Thursday, December 20
Being in love just makes me crazy.

Sunday, December 16
Last night we had a small party at my place. A lot of drinking and so on. Just out of jumpiness I ate some figs. The way you eat peanuts. Hmm, I said to myself: take care of those figs. They can be cruel to your intestine. And then it happend. We went out to a small party in a small room... phew... I felt so embarressed and would like to apologise to everybody who had to suffer from the aftermath of those figs. Shame ova me...SORRY!!!!!!

Thursday, December 13
I like it when you call me Mimi. That sounds nice and sweet.

Monday, December 10
I don't like the complacent feeling.

Thursday, December 6
Somebody I mentioned before - Thomas Hirschhorn - and I don't know if I wrote already about the following incident that comes to my mind often:
During documenta 11, curated by Okwui Enwezor to whom I missed to talk to, because I was too stupid and too shy, we had dinner with co-curator Ute Meta Bauer and afore-said Thomas Hirschhorn. When our conversation turned to psychotherapy he persuaded me that an artist shouldn't undergo a psychotherapy. That something of the artistic soul could be eaten up. How life goes, I had a six years therapy behind me, actually, to maintain my self. Okay, what to do... I couldn't give up this six years work on my ever so complicated mind and decided even I had that poxy therapy I could do my art. I have to admid that I lost the urge to express myself spontaneously a little. With other words, thanks to God I can control what I do and what I do not.

Monday, December 3
In the dark of winter
my eyes don't see.
I stay inside
myself.