Friday, November 30
Art washes from the soul the dust of every day life. Pablo Picasso

Friday, November 23
You know I don't care. I am supposed to say finally fate, destiny will decide, but actually me, myself says I don't care.

Thursday, November 22
Certain people have told me that I looked cold. What did they mean? That I couldn't give them warm? That I was cold-hearted? That their aesthetic sense felt offended, because I didn't match their ideal of hot beauty? Because they were not capable to put a warm view on me. Therefore they ignored me, because I was just a disgusting obstacle on their way to heaven. And, because I mirrored their own incompleteness, which probably could have decelerated their promotion, they blocked every form of communication to frantically keep up their hard-earned superiority. Eventually they are weak and I am strong. Yes.

Wednesday, November 21
See Lisa Best's Health tip for today:
When filled with negative thoughts and pessimism, consider being thankful for any positive thing that may have happened, or for any positive attribute of another person. Search for positivity anywhere you can see it, and consciously intend to find the beauty in everything you see. With enough practice, positivity becomes a lifestyle choice.

Tuesday, November 20
Everything is OK Mix, Mixed & Compiled by ON FIRE SOUND 2012

Monday, November 19
There is no way back. Time is progressive. That is a plain fact humans will not change. Only the view on the past may be variable, possibly connected to a common sense.

Sunday, November 18
I feel like crying, but I try to be very strong and not to cry.

Saturday, November 17
Let your conscience be your guide... Dedicated to me... Make step by step when walking hand in hand.

Friday, November 16
When you check in in the heart break hotel there is no leaving... Dedicated to my parents who have been living together for 55 years. It's their wedding anniversary today.

Wednesday, November 14
I have a new strategy - I just don't care.

Tuesday, November 13
In 1980 they said to me there is no reason for a degree in Fine Arts - I don't know if there even existed a degree for Fine Arts. But from my present day perspecive I see it like they didn't want (to support) me.

Monday, November 12
I will not repeat issues, when there is no reason to reapeat them. I mean, I don't mention again a certain concern, when I exactly remember that I wrote about it before. I only write, when I know there is no way for me to control my subconscious by what I am writing.

Thursday, November 8
We had a peaceful day today. Life, when there is no stress. No pressure, no anxiety, just being, possible even in a digital era.

Wednesday, November 7
Congratulations President Obama. I love you.

Tuesday, November 6
Since about half a year now I have been suffering from pain in my left shoulder. The pain even expanded to my arm, especially when lifting something. Even a small weight seems to be heavy. All the treatment I've started was without real satisfying results. They said there was nothing suspicious, except that the sickness of society and its constraints have transferred to my body. Good to know. I appreaciate knowledge, but this time I feel at the mercy of its power.

Friday, November 2
Concerning Drowning by numbers it is a matter of work in progress. Any time I met with a written number that comes to my eyes I will fill in the correspending gap.

Tuesday, October 30
The personal is political.

Saturday, October 13
About Me
A friend gave a book to me called The Life you were born to live: A Guide to Finding Your Life Purpose written by the American Dan Millman, an author in the self help field. The book is about finding out about one's life on the basis of a certain birth number computed through adding every single digit of the person's exact birthday and again the sum of it. When she told me about the book the first time, I was absolutely wary like I am mostly suspicious of esoteric teaching. But then she read what was written about my birth number and I found that somehow the discription corresponded to my character: Those on the 39/12 life path are here to work through issues of creativity, cooperation, and integrity, expressing themselves through creative teamwork, aligned with higher wisdom, in a spirit of mutual cooperation. Sounds great. Emphasis is put on - in contrast to to those, whose creativity lies in being creative independently - the preference for teamwork. 39/12s, with their issues of expressive energy and integrity and wisdom, with their cauldron of creative energy and associated responsibilities, often feel overhelmed at times. (the reason for asking easily for help) They may take longer than those on different life paths to come into their own, when their psyche finally sorts out and harnesses all of their emerging qualties and drives. Further... Whether working with another individual or with a group, 39/12s display a depth of emotion and almost religious (oh wow) internalisation of meaning and purpose that let them feel the depths of their soul and the souls of others. Phew. They have little time for frivolous or shallow concerns; they may need to lighten up and act silly on occasion, to remind themselves that life doesn't have to be so serious, at least from a transcendental perspective. Okay, thanks for the hint. Most 39/12s feel somehow different from others, almost like outsiders. Admittedly, I know that feeling. Due to their emotional sensitivity, combined with the unsettled sense of identity often suffer from self-doubt and vulnerability to others' opinions... And to put it finally in a nutshell and come to an end if they feel good about themselves emotionally, they'll release and enjoy their creative energy to its fullest range and bring their passion and the beauty of their creative energy into the world. GOSH

Friday, October 5
Some weeks ago when I strolled through town and took pictures I told myself to make a photo spread Drowning by Numbers sooner or later. I intended to adapt Greenaway's idea of including ascending numbers into pictures. What means, I have to look out for a certain number here and then. Just to head for something and to give the moment of coincidence a certain indication.

Thursday, October 4
I hate myself for crying about Hollywood productions, but watching Avatar I couldn't stop weeping (expecially because of the cruelty of Sky people, when they started the war). Now, on the next morning, I look like an owl - what a shame.

Monday, October 1
Somebody told me it's not a diary what I am writing. A real diary is about what are you doing every day. But for me that would be more like logbook. Actually, diary means writing day by day. About the content there is no given definition.