Tuesday, June 7
How to overcome my fear of roaches
When I see roaches I panic. Stupid. Besides, spiders ain't my favourites too. Anyhow, these fears don't help at all. In fact, I heard once someone proclaim: Fear is a good teacher. Probably this advice applies to a lot of situations, but not to katsaridaphobia.
However, I think it appears basically to be a courteous manner belonging to acquired comprehension of a universal perception.
Further I found this comment:
I can kill and dispose of them, but it's a delicate process. I usually spray them endlessly with bug spray and then I sweep them up and flush 'em down the toilet or I vacuum them. The difference between most phobes and me is that I'm not afraid to admit that I'm scared of roaches. I openly declare that I'm afraid of roaches and damn proud of it too! Even if I weren't afraid of roaches, I would refuse to pick them up or handle them unless I absolutely had to, especially if I'm with a man. I tell all my boyfriends and soon-to-be husband, "The woman cooks, cleans and takes care of the home. The man should have to kill the roach!"
In other words, when you are a traditional woman you have to be afraid of such ugly wight, because your man will show you then that he is a real man. Unfortunately, I know men who detest roaches like women do.
To put it in a nutshell, forget the gender discourse at this point. I think the best way is just to look at them coolly and presumptiously. They are how they are. And at least they don't do any harm like snakes would do...;-o

Wednesday, June 22
Long time ago it happened that I arose a topic of justice within a small group of people. I mentioned that people had started using one person as a punching bag only not to find themselves abandoned. But because it happend overbearingly undisclosed the bullied person didn't even recognise her own change and therefore let it happen. However, I felt sorry for that person and more important, I didn't like the behaviour of the others. I couldn't tolerate that situation any longer and during a dinner discussion I expressed what I had been watching. Yet, all I got was a harsh response of the so-called leader that I was about to disarrange the established order of the group. I should just look for myself and shut my mouth. I was paralysed. I felt like somebody had hit my head with a dull item and as a result I started to move into a kind of dreamworld, a blatant attempt to soothe my pain.

Wednesday, June 29
Everyone believes in what s/he wants to believe that is the truth.

Saturday, July 2
Probably it isn't human nature to think very far ahead.

Tuesday, July 5
From Baking Cakes in Kigali by Gaile Parkin:
In Kinyarwanda we say that a hoe cannot be damaged by a stone that is exposed. I think it means that the truth will hurt us only when the truth remains hidden.

Sunday, July 10
Something that shouldn't stay unsaid:
Certain people cannot perceive the moment they add fuel to the fire. They think they are doing good. But instead of helping from their heart they construct something to make themselves believe their aid is of importance and can cause progress... let's watch the fire alltogether, isn't it gorgeous?

Friday, July 15
From The Bite of the Mango by Mariatu Kamara:
- Don't look back. If you look back, you live your life with regrets and what-could-have-beens. Always look forward.
- The western music doesn't have a real beat. Where are the drummers?
- If you're accusing someone of doing something bad, you're probably thinking of doing it yourself.

While I was reading this book, an incident came to my mind. Two and a half years ago I consulted a shop for contact lenses. As a matter of fact I told the guy who tested my eyes about my plans traveling to the Gambia. Thus we were chatting awhile. Finally he said that he had four children to raise that's why he couldn't care about problems in Africa. I was very surprised to suddenly hear that kind of concluding remark. To me it sounded like an excuse. Sorry, but I cannot do anything for you. Whatsoever, I know life in the Western World can be difficult too. No problem, Mister.

Sunday, July 17
If I had a daughter, I would call her Tanlulu.

Monday, July 18
I got a mail from the success factory:

Would you like to be able to...
· Speak your truth?
· Stand up for yourself and others?
· Get what you want and deserve?
· Voice your opinions in meetings, social gatherings, public etc?
· Have an equal relationship with your life partner?
· Make your own decisions?
· Say “no” when you want or need to?
· Get on with your job in your own way once objectives and constraints have been clarified?
· Have a say in the selection of people who are to report to you?
· Make mistakes from time to time?
· Expect work of a certain standard from others?
· Give constructive feedback?
· Set boundaries for others?
· Negotiate the most appropriate deals?
· Come across as confident?
· Be better at delegating and saying no to unreasonale requests?
· Deal with conflict and stress easily?
· Be better at delegating and saying no to unreasonale requests?
· Lead and motivate others?
· Command attention and gain the respect of others around you?

Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S Y E S