Wednesday, 29
Searching for a map of Paris on my board on the lowest storage I pass my Tarot cards. Hmm, why not just pull one for my weekend trip...
Trump 8: Justice - balance, law, fairness, objectivity

Light Making an objective decision. Weighing an issue carefully before taking action. Appropriately scaling my reaction to a situation. Getting all the facts. Considering evidence. Deliberating.
Shadow Delivering harsh criticism. Obsessing on rules and regulations. Playing by the book even when it is destructive to do so. Confusing snap decisions with timely action.
Archetype The Law Numbers 8 (movement, work)
Relationship An even division of responsibility.
Work Know what matters most, and prioritize accordingly.
Spirituality Seek balance. When faced with a decision, quiet my mind and allow my heart to weigh the moment. Trust in the law of karma; avoid personal efforts to mete out universal justice.
Personal growth Learn my own limits. Rather than allow them to define me, use what i know to better position myself for success. Learn when to say yes, know when to say no.
Symbols the sword, the scales, the blindfold, the temple columns
Questions to ask To what extend is my life balanced? How can I achieve greater objectivity? What course of action would be fair to everyone concerned?

Sunday, 26
about the movie: indeed a bit Nollywood (it is what they claimed). They called it an art-film, yeah, why not. A low budget, but what came out was not too bad. Showing Black Switzerland from her sunny side. They explained that the Africans of their team (40 of 60) sought this kind of romance, not the dirt and heavy experiences of sinking boats and drowning people, no cynical smuggler we know from documentaries and telly, but an optimistic and beautiful point of view. They made it, from start to finish it took them four years, and they didn't do it bad. Young people who tried their best.
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in the evening a film project of the African diaspora in Switzerland to watch -
Paradise in my Mind
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in my lunchbreak have bought Body Talk at Kunsthalle Shop, edited by Koyo Kouoh - Feminism, Sexuality and the Body in the Work of Six African Women Artists
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on Friday i made two decisions - firstly, my 4 wheel for Gambia should be a Toyota Land Cruiser (a recommandation of an experienced driver) and secondly, I am going to transport it myself passing Montpellier, Barcelona, Valencia, Granada, Malaga, Tangier, Rabat, Agadir - maybe from there the ferry to Dakar - or if I find sombody who is familiar with driving through the desert, I'll continue to Boujdour, Nouakchott, Touba to Banjul. Before I thought about sending it by container.
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my translation on Moïse in Paris of the late eighties is on page 65
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Last Monday I made a trip to Munich. At the Golden Bar of Haus der Kunst I met a nice young woman. When I travel I hardly make friends, so I was surprised how openly she approached me. We made an extensive walk at the English Garden, the biggest urban park of the world, she told me. In the evening, the actual reason of my trip, we attended a talk relating to Geniale Dilletanten, on questioning the necissity of disclosing skills in music and artwork of the early eighties, my then artschool time. As a matter of fact they were somehow akin to me in terms of an experimenting point of view now at the age of having grand children, established and well fed. I enjoyed and some enlightening comments of Diedrich Diedrichsen made me smile. Of course I didn't miss the wonderful exhibition of Louise Bourgeois.
The following day I visited my parents at the country side close to Rosenheim, on a farm they have been traveling since I moved to Switzerland. My father went to and made his matric there at a boarding school after war.
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yeah, now is cool, everything installed properly, i hope

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Thursday, 16
At the age of twelve my breasts were already developed, a handfull. I had also my periods, but that is something people cannot see. I looked more mature than I was and I didn't like it. One day my aunt came for a visit. We children were playing in the basement where the washing hung out to dry. My mother and my aunt, actually the wife of my father's brother, mother of three children, came down to look what we were doing. My aunt saw a bra of mine, a then B-cup, on the line and exclaimed: I have that one too. Phew! I desperately wanted to disappear from the scene at that moment. I felt ashamed and at the same time I knew i had too much. This notion of having too much haunted me long time. Clothes I selected from their shape giving my breasts a smaller appearance. Even some said they liked them i seriously considered a surgical intervention, but they were not big enough, i.e. I couldn't prove that I had real problems like backache, so the health insurance wouldn't have paid. The sister of one of my class mates did it. She told me it had been hard and showed me big scars semicircular underneath her breasts. After all, she felt a lot better. Yeah, me too, I was happy for her, definitely.

Wednesday, 15
This translating is almost like a game. A puzzle. Sometimes it takes me very long to solve a sentence and I am streched to my limits asking my self if i am not about to waste my time in vain. Last night i changed the formattting - after some attempts of my own style - to the exact copy of the book's compostion. So I can see when I used to many words for the same content. The writer was young, when he wrote this book. In his late twenties. I feel an ambitiousness a more mature person wouldn't reveal. Complex sentences, pleonasms here and then in his affection for details. At the same time always willing to present philosophical depth. Brave work. And it was not his first book, not at all. What did I do when I was that age?

Tuesday, 14
I tell you that is hard craft. I am translating a book from French into German. My French is beneath contempt, so I had to do it to get every facette of it's content. I've reached page 34 of 222. Most of the time I use a translator or a dictionary to come closer to the meaning, as my knowledge of Latin helps additionally to gather the syntax. I plan to make some artwork out of, later.

Monday, 13
Since some days I've been lost in translation, immersing into a Paris of the eighties - 17th arrondissement.

Thursday, 9
my programs are a bit flaky at the moment... i'll come less frequently in future

Tuesday, 7
What I adore about African artists is how they are proud of being artists and by that run free clearly inspired and productive. Whereas European artists struggle, complain and scrutinise rundown overcharged by their autologous history that has sucked their creativity away. (that is a pamphlet)

Sunday, 5
when i read my entries i feel ashamed of their banalty not to speak of audacity and boldness compared to what I am reading elsewhere - you cannot even compare. but you see that is how i try to improve. that is why i don't delete them. when i was rereading my diary as a teen i felt ashamed of its clumsiness and closed it fastly like to say nobody never should read it. instead of rewritingi i looked into a soul finding blood and tears and a lot of solutions how to get out of the deep. to continue for the better.

Friday, 3
summer - am reading, reading, reading; not much more to do

Thursday, 2
I AM NOT A MIRROR - for nobody.
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to keep in mind for my future projects: nothing ever goes like it is planned -
to prevent being killed mentally by feelings of disappointment and indignity
projects are started with an intuition. as it guides you what you planned and changes.
and it leads you to what you didn't expect... revelation (mj)