Tuesday, 30
i love the idea of ... i love YOU - xxx

Monday, 29
yeah, for a long time of years i've been living an illusion in favour of being embedded
in a small world of naive perception by fulfilling inflicted presets - still do
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this sea period is not a fortune. it derived from a hysterical environment
i couldn't escape. i disdain myself for not been able to resist and giving in -
a kneejerk reaction out of subconsciously triggered violation
i preferred to look for yours truly.

Sunday, 28
am lazy, enjoying the sun

Friday, 26
a bad dream: i found myself in a city mixed of Amsterdam, Hamburg, Lagos and Venice. i was at a kinda high society party, rooms kept in white, walls and furniture, and also people wore white. after some time we left the party by boat. i felt a bit afraid of all the ships passing fastly. but they told me i shouldn't. when i was relaxed, i told a guy who i know from Basel that i read that svp (schweizer volkspartei) will get the majority in the coming elections. (fact is i've read prognoses in a newspaper recenty. shameful to admit, but i haven't even realised that we have been governed by them since a while. when i arrived in swiss 1984 that party was small and nobody liked them... some years ago they made very ugly racist propaganda. i never imagined that people would vote for a party that is racist.) however, this boat man in my dream tried to calm me down. don't worry, he said. but i woke up with a terrible feeling.

Wednesday, 24
MJ

Tuesday, 23
For the first time, today, I know it may sound mundane, I've thought about my works how they will survive me. My works are there, but I am already dead. How strange, the thought of it made me jealous.

Monday, 22
hmmm... Summer of Sam - The Who and other delicatessen, CBGB, for example or Plato's retreat

Sunday, 21
Back to normal? no - there is no normal or no not normal. I am who I am and my life is how it is. 57 years is a long long life. Though only yesterday someone criticised me of talking like a child. I make mistakes. I may express complexities in simple words. But do everything to make changes where changes are needed. I adapt into given structures for the better. No time for running after where access is denied. My paths are default.

Saturday, 20
If Africa can leave behind its idea of Africa as geography, or as a post-colonial reaction, or as being defined by blackness, can it then be defined rather as a new dynamic energy?
I don’t like newness. Why, all of sudden, should Africa be new? And what does a “dynamic energy” mean exactly? I do think that Africa is a metaphor for a lot of things that people are not aware of. That metaphor, in my view, is summarised in the word metamorphosis. Africa is speed and fluidity. We all know that the continent is not dark. But still, we could use the word to invest it with something else; we have been conceptually far too lazy.
Excerpt from ARTsounthAFRICA interviewing Simon Njami on 04. September 2014

Thursday, 18
art Conversations - Building new art institutions in Africa:
Touria El Glaoui, Founder, 1:54 Contemporary African Art Fair, London; Koyo Kouoh, Founding Artistic Director, RAW Material Company, Dakar; Mark Coetzee, Director and Chief Curator, Zeitz Museum of Contemporary Art Africa, Cape Town; Raphael Chikukwa, Chief Curator, National Gallery of Zimbabwe, Harare, Zimbabwe; Marie-Cécile Zinsou, President, Fondation Zinsou, Cotonou, Benin.
Some keywords from my notes: diasporic nature of arts, new museology - part of a fabric of social change, more than just a presentation of art. African artists developed their own logic and language. Continuity. Changes in politics. We have a future. The future idea is very important. I bulid a museum because I have a future; for the next generartion to be able know where they come from. Good news coming from Africa. Social movements of liberation dive an extraordinary output. Changing perceptions or what is achtually happening. Critical awareness. Long term energy. New models of collaboration. Stigmas that are not only from the 'other' but from ourselves have to be undone. Critique of hierarchy of capitals, hierarchy of the place. Legacy of the continent. Our generation of professionals is global - not about Africa only. African art is neither fashionable nor a trend. Colonial art was only for a chosen few. A pavilion to construct and deconstruct to put into public space. Newness - visibility. A condition of recognition.

Wednesday, 17
the Vernissage - was alright, more or less the same like every year.
At our break I sat next to a woman who I only after a while recognized as Miriam Cahn.

Tuesday, 16
This year I am tired of taking pictures at Art Basel. I just go there, maybe here and then something will come to my eyes that i'll need to keep. You see i've been artist since I was 12, from my heart. I really believed my art will give an input to the world. Later I learned it was about management and networks and when you are not able to sell yourself, to boast about what you're doing your chances equal zero. Today I went there to hear the friendly voice at the checkup who told me that I couldn't go for a preview allowed only by invitation or any other VIP. Tomorrow for the Vernissage we'll be allowed. Of course it is not my VIP card - I am not a very important person and everybody who reads here maybe hopes I would be but at the same time knows that I am not. It is the card of friends who try hard. They are forthcoming and help me participate in the world's biggest art fair. Respect.

Monday, 15
let's start (Liste20) - my friend Khanyisile Mintho Mbongwa at kasko

Friday, 12
Soon Basel will be the hub of the art world for a few days - then after back to normal.

Thursday, 11
Wildwuchs at stadtkino
In Erwartung Europas, by Diego Ndombasi and Fremd by Miriam Fassbender

Monday, 8
I always dyed my hair, but since a while I've stopped doing so. My hair is almost white and people say I look older now. What I find special about is looking older but not being older just because of not dying my hair. And I accept being who I am. One of my friends repeats every here and then that she doesn't have any problem with older ages. She even appreciates getting wiser. In my opinion it's that you are more likely to get credits for looking young. In other words life is easier when you look young. Again a competition among women?

Sunday, 7
We have a new sculpture in our garden of the museum where I've been spending my weekends since some time for a living; Daphne made by the German contemporary artist Markus Lüpertz. Actually I like the podgy mimesis of the Greek mythology's figure. Semi converted into a laurel tree she carries a head on her left foot looking proudly to her right as to say: Apollo, why didn't you follow my words and gave up stalking me? You see I had to kill your love to free myself of that incessant harassment. Sorry.

Saturday, 6
Once a woman revised me to use the word subconsious instead of unscious in connection with a not conscious action. And she was right. Didn't I come from a psycho analysis (C.G.Jung) and should have known better. Since then for me has been clear that I do things conscious or subconscious but not unconscious (unconscious actually means almost as much as fainting). For instance, when I run out of time and have to fulfill society's demands - though they are not my very own wishes at that moment - I am not able to control every of my steps and deeds, because I've to do them as quick as possible to pander my then peer group. What will be revealed after is a kinda subconscious reflection where I can see which part of my empirical knowledge has bloomed in abundance.

Friday, 5
watching a very exciting semifinal between Tsonga and Wawrinka.
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Here in the German speaking countries mobbing is a term used often. According to wikipedia it is defined as: Mobbing in the context of human beings means bullying of an individual by a group (or even just one person) in any context such as a family, friends, peers, school, workplace, neighbourhood, community, or online. Recently i've overheard somebody saying "We have to mob him. He needs it. Or otherwise he'll become too presumptious." How is that. Why can't this guy go directly to that person he wants to fight and tell him what he thinks of his very character. Instead he intrigues and manipulates other people to represent a (his) majoritiy, because he is not able to do it alone and overcome his inner barriers to talk to this person of dislike.
Really, why can't people leave others just the way how they are. They always have to niggle at each other. About men how they look at women I know that they talk about the looks of a woman like: she looks good. But it is not that they think she looks good indeed, but they see that the woman about herself thinks she looks good. It is written on her face: today I 've taken a look in the mirror and what i saw was great. That is what men see. It is a well known fact that man don't judge women because of their looks, but that women make themselves up for the contest among women.

Thursday, 4
a memory: at artschool an ambitious fellow student used to tease me by calling me miss piggy. i always felt offended, but beccause i liked him a lot i just took it in. further, i was not good in sesame street's muppet characters. if i had probably i would have countered by nicknaming him kermit. and, i even could have asked him: why do you call me miss piggy? instead i had let it happen against me. you see, being shy makes no sense. you are down and helpless. better go straight foward and make yourself feel comfortable about yourself.

Wednesday, 3
Star Boy is good All the time at roxy.

Tuesday, 2
Star Boy Productions at dock.