Wednesday, April 6
I know why I write. To stop the inner voice. You cannot always talk to people, so you have to talk to yourself.

Monday, April 25
From Mandela's way, Lessons on Life. Richard Stengel
Mandela about law (in his unpublished diary) :
In actual practice law is nothing but organised force used by the ruling class to shape the social order in a way favourable to itself.

Wednesday, May 4
Five years ago I changed my name to Maren Sanneh. My life changed completely. In other words a new life began. Anyhow, in our hi-tech society, which apparently seems to fasten life a lot, such news like changing identities is going slow. Those virtual hanks consolidated in colossal storage media where names are saved are not at all able to follow analog changes. I still get phonecalls, where people ask for a person that vanished five years ago - Maren Schaffner. Sometimes I tell them she has moved out. Then they ask me where she moved and so on. I play their game of their search for a person that doesn't exist anymore. To improve their business they need as many clients as possible. So they do not really care if ghosts are around. But finally the virtual world plays with those human beings who are working at rampant databases. They wrongly assume a prospective person would be available. To emphasise my point of view: last year I conlcuded a contract of a car insurance company. But still they send ads to Schaffner to offer her exactly the same contract. They cannot grasp that a biologically living person (Sanneh) that is identical to the other one (Schaffner) already made a contract. In their exuberantly growing data world consisting of ones and zeros (what appears already at first sight rather natty) even such a simple thing like changing a name cannot be captured. For me that means changes are not made easily contrary to a fast paced world. Not to talk of that waste of resources what sending paper adverstisements to households mean.

Sunday, May 8
I like changing roles. Sometimes to slip into other people's roles gives me the believe in my own flexibility. I am not reduced to one and only character. Further I can be closer to others and feel them.
For example, actually I am not good in teasing people. So that's something I have to practice. To tease people means to change from victim to committer. It's easy to be always the victim and complain. Just to be free from guilt and waiting for God's presents. Ohh, I am not guilty, I am so perfect, please give me some goods. No, no that's not the way I want to be. Not that I want to relish hurting others, but better modifying between particular behaviours. Waiting doesn't change anything. Let me be a committer. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. Mistakes are part of life and development, as well as prosperous records.

Sunday, May 22
I often overhear the sentence: I am more than that.
People like competition too much. They appreciate the feeling they succeed just in comparison to others, not in what they achieve as a matter of fact. They are not interested in comprehending, but in winning. Last but not least a question of power.