Thursday, February 28
I have no plan. I've been looking for a rooter to make Internet possible for my new studio. I haven't found a convenient one. Shit. I feel like I am addicted to Internet. And to programs. My programs don't work on my new computer and I ask myself why I bought it. To appear more professional? Actually, I thought I could work better having it. But at the moment I've been trapped in the world of technic imperfection. Good news, I've bought (it looks like I like buying things) a new edition of Oxford Adavanced Learner's Dictionary what was definitely necessary, because my old one collapsed.

Wednesday, February 27
I've been reading The Memory of Love after a year's break. It's quite an extensive novel and I've been anxious that I wouldn't remember its plot and protagonists. But as by a wonder I immediately or lets say after reading a few paragraphs I could immerse myself totally in the life of Freetown, of Adrian, Kai, Vanessa, Elias, Saffia, Julius and his arrest.

Tuesday, February 26
Barca again. Lost. (I think about something different)

Monday, February 25
I've bought an Imac. Lovely to see the big screen and to enjoy Mountain Lion. However, I have to get new programs.

Wednesday, February 20
Watching television Milano - Barcelona. Messi, Messi. Final day of Basler Fasnacht.
Everything easy. I love Barcelona, but this time they lost.

Tuesday, February 19
The day I'll die Maren's diary will be finished. It's like that. Or do you think a ghost will continue writing it?

Monday, February 18
Once I think about money, I start feeling miserable. In other words money concerns make me desperate. Like being haunted by an invisible hazard I am always on the run from bankruptcy. In certain sweet moments I am able to forget, but when I start counting and calculating my strength is going to pieces and I am about to give up.

Sunday, February 17
When I don't like myself - there are certain moments it happens - then I understand that others do the same. For not dodging any encounter I have to go to become passable.

Saturday, February 16
Hey, I miss your talking. I like your car.
At the same time I wish I stayed aware of those moments I felt for you.

Friday, February 15
Every hour counts.

Thursday, February 14
Since yesterday I've been ill in bed with a cold. My lymph nodes are like monsters and my throat is burning. Lying in bed for two days made me come to the conclusion that the basic necessary instincts to survive in a competitive surrounding like the Western society (and probably everywhere in the world) are not part of my obvious talents. I mean as soon as I get challenged I prefer to die, psychologically. Then I place myself somewhere in a boat floating through my venes till the competitive part is over and I can continue like nothing has happened. I understand that those people who are trying to challenge me - mostly even friendly - get frustrated after a while missing a healthy resistence. Okay, I hope this beautiful insight I've got during my physical weakness will lead me to do better in future.

Monday, February 11
Susan Sontag's words "What is the most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine."

Sunday, February 10
Consciously or subconsciously, he preferes to make my life difficult somehow. To say it more generalising men oftenly complicate women's lives - in a way confuse them - so that they don't become too strong.

Thursday, February 7
We went out to get stands for a work disk in my new studio in the attic. On our way home we dropped into a grocery to buy some food and left the stands outside the shop. When we returned, my stands were gone. Actually, somebody had taken them away within a few minutes. That bites.

Tuesday, February 5
Peace and respect.

Friday, February 1
Every day counts.