ThursdAY, 18
(this was a mistake, i leave it because i like it) maybe in future i will allow more things that aren't really the way they should be, but when i like them i leave them and will not mark them as a mistakes again.
The Art Space Work of the Month is long overdue. Today I told myself to change the work, no matter what. I took the work that came my way. I think I put it ready to present it at some point. It is a gift from the artist group HauertReichmut, which they gave to me at my farewell party in Basel.
Art Space Work of the Month
Hauert Reichmuth Atelier
Untitled
print on paper, 2015, 42 x 29,7
cm
Wednesday, 17
yeah, still reading, still going with the flow. i like her writing stile, not going fully with the common grammar rules, but having invented her own - love it. i was never strong enough to do so, not even here in my diary. i had a time i also forgot about syntax rules and so on. but as soon i arrived in gambia to establish an art center i thought i had to be correct, over correct so people will accept me. that was how i was raised. try to fit in the society so they give you space to climb up. actually the word climbing was not really decent to use. you were lifted up or got a chance. on one hand. on the other hand i was asked to stay free somehow in order not to get boring.
back to countryside i decided i really need a pied a terre. since long i've had that in my mind. since years. also the Art Space shop in Kerr Serign was based on that idea. i had realised i couldn't make ends meet here. eventually, since christmas 2022 im going to town staying in a lodge for a week or so, here and then. a cheaper solution than renting a place for the whole year.
i've looked at two, but they were not really what i needed. yesterday the manager of the place in town were i sometimes stayed called me that one room was free for a couple of weeks. it took me another hour to decide to stay there for ten days. i had told him about my plans and he convinced me that it would be convenient. i could head for rent out places by my bicycle. what means end of next week i am on the road again.
Saturday, 13
Every day i read a chapter of Evaristo's book Girl, Woman, Other to boost my confidence. to maintain a mood that allows the brain to work properly. When i was still in Lisbon, i downloaded an Audible web player as a trial version. i shouldn't forget to cancel my subscription at the right time. 10 euros per month is expensive, at least for me. but i love it. i listen and read at the same time. to really comprehend everything.
Thursday, 11
i still go with the flow but i am back in Gambia.
Koriteh yesterday and today. Ramandan ended.
yeah that Marabou story threw me for a loop. i couldn't find the way back. i thought it was more important to do other things than write my lyrics. delving into interviews with Bernadine Everisto or reading her texts. or using the much faster internet to get my photos in order in iCloud (but not finished yet), eating whenever and what i needed, doing exactly what was in my mind. no annoying requests from me like... you have to do this or that now. no, i do what i like, was the motto. back in tintintohouse i do realise that things can't go on like this. other tasks will call again to shape my life. but at the moment still - i go with the flow.
Wednesday, 3
no disturbing calls last night
Tuesday, 2
(5pm)
Still on that marabou story. I wonder what made me so paranoid last night that I deleted my text entry. I think the reason for this was that the content of the text somehow mixed with the marabou story. For better understanding: my text was about the incident that the employee of the airline where I bought my ticket misinterpreted and incorrectly copied the information on my passport. I was surprised to find my maiden name as the first name on my plane ticket. It looked kind of strange, but it was also a little worrying because I thought there might be problems with check-in. But it was not like that. No problems at all. You see, I easily worry that something will go wrong instead of believing that everything will turn out well.
But to get back to the uncertainty that overwhelmed me at night. The real question, of course, is why someone would call me in the middle of the night and ask for a marabou. Ok, he said he got my number through the House of Culture Tintinto and it could be that he was hoping to get help from a cultural institution. Maybe he really was in need? I'm telling you, I deleted the conversation on the spot. That's why I can't call back and find out. But why didn't the caller identify himself and why a German phone number? Besides, I was almost half asleep and the whole thing seems to be in a cloud in my memory.
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(9am)
I don't know if anyone noticed, but last night's call bothered me so much that I deleted the original post about an incident that I found funny, but at the same time had some significance. It was about my travel documents.
How is it possible that someone called me late at night, just before midnight, and asked if I knew a marabou (a type of magician in Gambia)? When I didn't answer the question immediately, the person wanted that I confirm I was from Gambia. Since it was about the House of Culture Tintinto, I didn't hang up immediately. But after I eventually said that I didn't know any marabou, I ended the conversation at once.
Usually I don't answer calls from people I don't know. But because I was jolted out of my dreams and saw that the phone number was of German origin, I thought it might have something to do with my mother who had been very ill some time ago. As always, I asked for the caller's name but got no answer. At least at that moment I should have hung up, but it was my sleepiness that made me hang on.
Things like that really scare me. It's the technology that worries me. To what extent is it possible for a stranger to appropriate my identity and thereby question my existence?
I stayed awake for hours until I finally fell asleep.
Monday, 1
(11.50 pm)
I got a strange whatsapp call who said that he got my number from the Internet House of Culture Tintinto. He asked if I knew any Marabou. That really scared me. Hope it was a Fool's Day joke.
Happy new month to everybody.