from left to right: barrier a) from beach b) to beach, black stones
Thursday, 31
Then everything looks rosy again. We get along well and work peacefully next to each other in the garden. I try to talk less, keep to myself and just let him. This works best. Today we even had the idea of building another small house, instead of a gazebo how we originally planned. Janaiba seems content in the other, which means it is occupied.
Of course, I would like nothing more than to actually set up a residency opportunity for artists. The mason (how bricklayers in Gambia are called) promised to come by today and then we'll see if it would be possible to build something like that.
By the way, there's something going on in the beach area again. They completely closed the road leading to the beach (no problem walking around that barrier) and flattened parts of the bush for new roads. There are some foundations for fences, a lot of forest is cut down and burned. It looks like a very complex thing that they are defining there now. Several piles of expensive black stones are already waiting to be processed.
Sunday, 28
There is my friend from Zurich, whom I have already mentioned several times. She is a big help for my relationship, my life.
Since there have been misunderstandings between my partner and me, she tries to explain that I have to think about myself and not feel responsible for the other person because he is old enough to know what he is doing. To which I replied that the problem is that the house we live in is associated with an idea, but for years it remained only mine. He did what needed to be done, but wouldn't comprehend what it was all about. In the end, it still remained my house. That's why only me was really responsible. No need to waste any more thought on it.
Yet, I keep trying and trying to share my ideas with him. But he doesn't really care. Because not much happens, so it can't be much. Nonetheless, there are at least some representations on the web - Google Maps, Facebook and our own website, this blog. I communicate about the Artspace with every person we meet and hand out business cards. Therefore, our lives don't stay completely private.
The fact that a young Gambian man and an older white woman get together is not uncommon in Gambia. Young Gambian men benefit financially and socially from older, wealthier women. A way to make money. It is true, but I didn't move to Gambia to link with a young Gambian. I came to The Gambia with the idea of building an art center. I met him on this path and it turned out that he accompanied me on my path, which became also his. This point is extremely important to me. I always mention it to him and everybody who bothers. Even if he changes his life and is no longer with me, he can't just erase history. Because I'm already writing our story.
It's not about profiting from a white woman - to lift ones family out of poverty or just for surviving - but it's about being part of the art center.
My girlfriend knows our story and doesn't particularly believe in my idea, yes, precisely because nothing happens there except our life together, with small exceptions. I shouldn't read anything into it. He would live with me because he couldn't think of anything better at the moment. He doesn't care about The House of Culture as such. She further asks, "What is Gambian culture like?" Aren't young people expected to start a family? (Incidentally, even I was raised with this guideline.) One day he will go away and start a family. She is not the only one, who tells me that. Almost everyone. I am aware of it. He is free and of course he has the opportunity to leave at any time. What my friend further told me, it was not my responsibility to organize the latter.
Recently I saw him opening baobab fruits with the back of his hoe, i.e. he used the hoe like a hammer. Why he didn't use a hammer, I asked. The hoe definitely wouldn't take it well. The hoe was just nearby, the hammer too far. Great listlessness, stagnation.
I keep trying and trying and trying to figure out why he doesn't care about anything. I tried everything to get him out of his lethargy. I involve him in my decisions and, if he has an objection or another idea, it can be taken into account. But since I ignored him once, right at the start of construction, to make a quick decision, he retreated, not always, but always when it suited him. My apologies stayed unheard though. My friend gets impatient: "Stop it. Stop blaming yourself again. Think about how you can be well. Think about yourself."
Monday, 22
I broke the silence last Thursday.
Wednesday, 17
We are currently practicing: Who can remain silent the longest?
The little House
Monday, 8
"I wouldn't like to live in an institution" Sometimes I can't remember whether I wrote about a topic or not. But I'm still wondering why her sentence is ringing in my head.
A few years ago we had visitors for a barbecue. I had a good conversation with the couple's wife, who works at the Ubuntu Gambia Foundation. She is good at talking, which I remember. I was very glad meeting someone who can talk more than me. After a while she explained that she woudn't appreciate a life in an institution. Since we had just been talking about the house on whose roof terrace we were sitting and where I live and which is an art institution, I took it personally.
Yes, somehow it seems easier when you work somewhere and then go home smoothly. After work, devote yourself to your private life and leave professional problems behind. But I don't really believe in this divide between work and leisure. It was never like that for me, my bread and butter jobs accompanied me home and certainly influenced my artistic work.
In fact, I love my (art) institution. I accept all topics it concerns. Just that I need more help from people who support me. Then I would definitely be much more confident in what I do.
A few days ago my hairdresser passed by and cut my hair in the studio as usual. He looked closely at some pictures and said that they bring light. This made me realise what art should be about. Especially here in Gambia, where light is not as common as in industrial countries. For me that meant support.
By the way, today a woman is moving into the small house that we built last year so that someone can live there when we travel to Europe. It has been empty since then, with someone from the family staying there here and there.
Just before Christmas, when one of Ous' brothers was installing new outdoor lights for our New Year's Eve party as well as making some other electrical repairs, we needed black tape. I rode my bike to our Allrounder store on the nearby coastal road to buy it. Janaiba, who I have known since we needed materials for the house, be it drain pipes, iron rods or just a few screws, was on duty there and always very helpful. She lives in Serrekunda and has to commute about 1 1/2 hours, morning and evening, as she told me some time ago. Last time she explained that she was still looking for an apartment in the area. But it seems to be difficult since she is not married. I was sorry and when I got home I thought about the little house. I called her and offered her to live there. Now we'll see if it feels okay to live in an art institution. I am curious about it.
Sunday, 7
As for my entry from Wednesday, the fact that I'm doing the daily entries in my new journal app to save the reader isn't quite what it sounds like.
Sure, I have no interest in outing myself by putting something out there without pondering - within my ability to question what I write - and making a fool of myself. That would seem unethical to me, almost perverse. Unless it's some kind of show, pastiche.
My thought was that I want to offer something that doesn't just turn the reader into a voyeur. I feel empty when I'm voyeuristic per se. I will not wish for the reader anything that I do not wish for myself.
However, I will also make entries that may be of interest only to myself and therefore, my last sentence - really, and only out of respect for you, dear reader - which sounded so selfless and was definitely what I felt the moment I wrote it, needs to be put in perspective. In other words, sometimes I need the Bloq to immortalize something that only concerns my small world and doesn't speak to the big story what takes place on an aloof level.
Saturday, 6
Yesterday I received an email from friends in Switzerland informing me about articles in the digital magazine Repuplik about the case of Ousman Sonko, who will be tried next week in Bellinzina, Switzerland. Even though I live in Gambia, at the source so to speak, I was still surprised and knew nothing about the upcoming hearings. Of course, I was informed about this case in part by the TRRC's live broadcasts, which I followed with interest several years ago.
I took the liberty of translating two items into English using google translate. I apologize for any errors in the ears of English (native) speakers. I proofread the translations from google to stay as close to the original as possible. I hope satisfactory. I left out most of the web links because they were in German.
The translation is meant as a friendly, non-commercial act to give my friends and acquaintances in and from Gambia the opportunity to understand the texts, which hopefully does not contradict copyright law.
"Dieser Prozess kann Signalwirkung haben" original in German
"This process can have a signaling effect" English translation
Die Schweiz spricht Recht über die Gewalttaten in Gambia original in Geman
Switzerland speaks justice for the acts of violence in Gambia English translation
Wednesday, 3
Yeah, 2024 has arrived. At the start of the new year I got myself a nice little -diary with password- app. (i don't have a password installed, my phone has already one)
The app is pleasant to use. It has a reduced design, which I appreciate - no frills. So my intention to write more frequently will probably happen rather there. I wanted to give myself the opportunity to pour out thoughts unfiltered. Just for me. I need to be able to write personal things, which I wouldn't tell anyone, and thus gain clarity about myself. Working texts in this diary is something different. I aim to deliver sophisticated things. That's why at times I have to work on it all day - with long breaks, which you can tell from the brevity of the texts - in order to take some distance to actually publish something that I'm convinced is okay.
So it will continue as before, not every day, but according to my energy, time and urgency to communicate anything that I think is interesting for the readers. As before, it can be as well pictures, quotes or just recommendations, i.e. weblinks.
At the same time, I would like to thank everyone who has the patience to stop by here and perhaps come away empty-handed for days or even weeks. In any case, I will try my best not to let the gaps get too big, really, and only out of respect for you, dear reader.
Tuesday, 2
xxx Happy New Year xxx
Art Space Work of the Month
Maren Sanneh
Untitled, part of “Dakar May 2016” series
photography, inkjet on glossy paper, 2017, 42 x 29,7 cm